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Humor
  Advice from a Doctor - Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longe...
Amazing Elephant Story - In 1986, Dan Harrison was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.  On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.  The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan ...
  Ask, Seek, and Knock - A man prayed one morning, 'Please, God, let me win the lottery.' But by the end of the day, he hadn't won. The next day, he prayed again. 'Please, God, let me win the lottery.' But again, he failed to win. The man was persistent and prayed again t...
  Back in 1990... - Back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed. Now, we are trusting the economy of our country and 700 Billion Dollars to a pack of nitwits...
The Backbone of this Command - In the greatest days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring Colonel. After welcoming his replacement and showing the courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches) that protocol decrees, ...
  Blondes
  Boat Race: Americans vs. Japanese - The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagg...
Bold, New Economic Strategy - In a bold, new economic strategy, the government has decided to shift its focus from redistribution of wealth to the redistribution of...
  The Bunny and the Snake - Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the for...
Cake: Best Wishes Suzanne / We Will Miss You - The customer asked for the bakery to write: "Best Wishes Suzanne" and underneath that "We Will Miss You". ...
Call Out the Wrecker!
Cartoons - my favorite cartoons...
Cat Betrayed His Girlfriend - An angry cat expresses her disgust at her ex-boyfriend who betrayed her....
Christians and Southerners - Christians and Southerners by Brad Stine, the most media covered Christian comedian in the country. He had an eight-page profile written about him and his comedy in the New Yorker magazine where he was referred to as 'Gods Comic.' Brad was a regular...
Circle Flies - A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and, in general, began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to wr...
Classifieds - Classified ads....
Colonel Meow's Diaries: A Rise to Power - Watch Colonel Meow take over the world every Wednesday on YouTube and on Animalist.com. Subscribe now and watch your world become Colonel Meow's. 'Colonel Meow's Diaries' is an ongoing narrative of his attempts of world domination. The diaries chroni...
  Computer Industry vs. Auto Industry - At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, 'If Ford [Motor Company] had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got...
Corrupt Senator Chooses - While walking down the street one day, a corrupt senator (that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. 'Welcome to Heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, i...
  Craigslist Ad for a Cello - So my sister gave me this cello a couple years ago. It's a nice cello. Actually, it's a great cello. It's probably the best cello, but I don't really know much about cellos. Also the neck snapped off. Of the cello. So it's really more like 3/4's of a...
  Dear Deaf Wife - Dear Deaf Wife. A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to, and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple ...
Denial - In Mt. Vernon, Texas, Drummond's Bar began construction on expansion of their building to increase their business. In response, the local Baptist church started a campaign with petitions and prayers to block the bar from expanding. Work [on the expan...
  Differences Between Men and Women
Dilemma - Dilemma by Luojie, China Daily, China....
  Do Dogs Go to Heaven? - A man and his dog were walking along a road when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. After a while, they came to a street of pure gold. As he got closer, he saw a man...
  Dog Diary / Cat Diary - DOG DIARY 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played...
Dog Obediance School Winner
Dog Wants a Kitty - This big, bad doggie wants a little, fluffy kitty. Starring Clyde....
The Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh - His dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh; The brother who ate prunes: Gotta Gogh; The brother who worked at a convenience store: Stop N Gogh; The grandfather from Yugoslavia: U Gogh; The cousin from Illinois: Chica Gogh; His magician uncle: Where-diddy Gogh; His M...
  Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients... - Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second responds, "Yeah, but you shou...
Foot Locker's Week of Greatness 2013: All Is Right - Foot Locker brings back Kyrie Irving for the Week Of Greatness, a week of the most premium shoe releases that can right all the world's wrongs. See Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield hug it out, Dennis Rodman fly to North Korea, Brett Favre finally wal...
For my birthday gift - For my birthday gift, I'd like you to assume my share of the......
  Games for When We Are Older - Games for When We Are Older. Sag, You're It. Hide and Go Pee. 20 Questions Shouted into Your Good Ear. Kick the Bucket. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over. Musical Recliners. Simon Says Something Incoherent. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy...
  George Carlin's Solution to Save Gasoline
Get a Brain! - A man holds a sign that reads...well, you just gotta see it....
  Gonorrhea Lectim - Gonorrhea Lectim. The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect 'em"). The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk...
  Government Inspector - So this Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas ranch and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for your water allocation." The old rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over t...
The GPS Prank - Technology never ceases to amaze...and insult. Posted on youtube on July 25, 2013 by collegehumor....
A grasshopper walked into a bar... - A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down. The bartender said, 'Hey, we've got a drink named after you!' The grasshopper said, 'That's funny. Why would anyone......
Have you ever wondered what idiots look like?
  The Hierarchy of Pilots
Hope 'n Change - Obama just ordered our rescue forces in Haiti to take down their American flags, so no one will be offended. Who's offended by the American flag?! Obama. Following the devastating earthquake in Haiti, the United States rushed in to help - with money...
  I Just HATE Drawing Welfare! - A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, 'Hi...You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.' The social worker behind the counter says, 'Your timing is excellent. We just got a ...
If Only There Were Spell Check and Proofreaders
If You Cross the Border Illegally... - If you cross the North Korean border illegally, you get 12 years hard labor. If you cross the Iranian border illegally, you are detained indefinitely. If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot. If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illeg...
  I'm voting Democrat because... - I'm voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would. I'm voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. I'm voting Democrat because when we pull o...
In God's Kitchen - In God's Kitchen. What are you cooking?...
In the Future... - 'In the future, everybody will have...'...
  It is important for men to remember that as women grow olderÂ…
  Jails and Nursing Homes - Here's the way it should be: Let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in nursing homes. This would correct two things in one motion: Seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dent...
Kulula Airlines - ....
  Labour Pain Transfer Device
  Magicians
Make the Best of Your Holidays! - What's this? Two lumps of coal?!...
Male/Female Procedures at the Bank's Drive-Through ATMs - A new sign in the bank lobby reads: Please note that this bank is installing new drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures out...
The Man Rules - We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Finally, the guys' side of the story. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note: these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to wo...
  Men are like...
Miller Time: Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 - Comedian on the missing airliner, pot vs. tobacco, and a Portland 'attack' cat...
Mount Everest - The Highest Mountain on Earth - In March 1856, Mount Everest was officially declared the highest mountain on earth. Before then, what was the highest mountain? (Read on for the answer.) According to Wikipedia, Mount Everest, then known as "Peak XV", "was calculated to be exactly 2...
  Musicians
  My Favorite Exercises - Here's a list of some of my favorite exercises: jumping to conclusions, reaching for the stars, climbing the walls, jogging my memory, running amok, bouncing off the walls, lifting spirits, jumping the gun, bouncing around ideas, carrying things too ...
  Never Choke in a Kentucky Restaurant - Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly at a nearby table, a woman who is eating a sandwich begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is...
  Nine Words Women Use - Nine Words Women Use. "Fine": This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. "Five Minutes": If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been gi...
  North Dakota News - Weather Bulletin
Not Good - Not Good is a series of humorous images of people captured in just the right - or should we say wrong - moment....
  Obama at the Pearly Gates - Obama dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates. He is very excited; all his life he's had a secret wish and longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed. Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barack meets a man with a beard. "Are you Mohammed?" he as...
  Okay, You're Free To Go! - Okay, You're Free To Go! One day in the future, O.J. Simpson has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for y...
  Once Bitten, Twice Shy... - Once Bitten, Twice Shy... When Roadkill Arrives in the Afterlife. Move towards the light! Hey, no way! That's how I got into this mess in the first place! Deer...
One of Those Days - You ever have one of those days? This television news reporter tries to show just how easy it can be for a burglar to break into a car and steal valuables....
One Unusual, Easy-to-Remember Name - We've probably all come across unusual, hard-to-remember names in our lives, but there's one unusual, easy-to-remember name I'll never forget. John Mauceri, principal conductor of the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra from 1991 to 2006, often advised his audi...
  One-Wish Genie
Painted Cats
Pardon - You pardon me, I'll pardon you....
Playground, 1967 / Playground, 2011 - Playground, 1967 and Playground, 2011 from Randy Bish of the Pittsburg Tribune-Review....
  Political Axioms - 'If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.' - Mark Twain; 'Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress...but then I repeat myself.'- Mark Twain; 'I contend that fo...
Politician's Lunch - The Politician's Lunch is a...
  Ponderisms - Ponderisms. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the g...
Pope on a Joyride - After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb. 'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver. 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave...
  Puns In-ten-ded - I'm blaming this page on my friend, Bob, who sent these to me. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'll serve you...
Quantitative Easing Explained - Quantitative Easing Explained ...
  A Real Tragedy - The Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, while visiting a primary school class, found themselves in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked both men if they would like to lead the discussion of the word "...
A Real Woman - A Real Woman: Found in a female member's profile on plentyoffish.com, a popular dating website: 'A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him a...
  Realization About My Dog - My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup and again during the year if any medical ...
  Red Skelton's Pledge of Allegiance - On his 1969 CBS television show, Red Skelton, one of the all-time funniest entertainers, explains and recites our Pledge of Allegiance as he learned it when he was a young boy....
Rednecks
  Rick was in Trouble - Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 10 seconds, AND IT HAD BETTER BE THERE!!" The next morning...
  Riddle: 88 Two Days Ago; 91 Next Year - A man claims he was 88 years old two days ago, and yet he also tells you that he will turn 91 next year. How can this be?...
  Riddle: Four cars... - Four cars, each coming from a different direction, simultaneously approach the same intersection with four-way stop signs. After stopping, the drivers all accelerate at the same time, however, there are no accidents. How is this possible?...
S%it Southern Women Say, Episode 1 - S%it Southern Women Say, Episode 1...
  Satan: Aren't you afraid of me? - A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone ran screaming from the church and soon it was empty except for one old man who ...
  Serene Japanese Computer Messages
The Shocking 'Mad Flag' Poster - I will pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands when it is one nation under God with liberty and justice for all including......
Sign of the Times in the Wild, Wild West - Sign of the Times in the Wild, Wild West. Police. This department has worked 3 days since our last officer-involved shooting. The best previous record was 4 days. Wanted....
  Signs of Menopause - Signs of Menopause. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them. You change your underwear after a sneeze....
Signs to Make You Smile - Signs to make you smile....
Simon's Cat - "Let Me In" - Simon's Cat - 'Let Me In'...
Sorry Excuse for a President - 'We're sorry that Korans were burned. There's no excuse for such a thing to occur. And as president of the U.S., I'm appalled.' reads the cartoon from Randy Bish of the Pittsburg Tribune-Review....
Speed Kills
Stay Out of My Uterus... - Stay out of my uterus, government!! ...that is, right after... ...
  A Story About Four People Named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody - A Story About Four People Named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry, because it was Everybody...
  Talking Dog For Sale - A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads 'Talking Dog for Sale.' Intrigued, he walks in. 'So what have you done with your life?' he asks the dog. 'I've led a very full life,' says the dog. 'I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then...
The Tax System Explained in Lunch - Suppose that every day, ten men go out for lunch and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this: The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing; The fifth would pay $1; Th...
Tea Party! Run Away!
ThatRaw.com Presents: IceJJFish - On the Floor (Official Music Video) - WARNING: THIS VIDEO CONTAINS CONTENT WHICH SOME MAY FIND DISTURBING. VIEWER (UH, LISTENER) DISCRETION ADVISED. ...
  Thoughts for the Weekend - Thoughts for the Weekend: Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over? If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor! Brain cells ...
  Three Tough Mice - Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night, trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse pounds down a shot of scotch, slams the empty glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says,...
  The Trouble with Quotes over the Internet... - The trouble with quotes over the Internet is that......
  True Friends - A friend will bail you out of jail. A true friend would be sitting beside you. A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body. A true friend will stab you in the front....
Two Antennas - Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but...
  Understanding Engineers - Take One
  Understanding Engineers - Take Two
  Understanding Engineers - Take Three
  Understanding Engineers - Take Four
  Understanding Engineers - Take Five
  Understanding Engineers - Take Six
  The Urine Test - The Urine Test / Like a lot of folks in this country, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test, with which I ...
  Vegas Street Performers Worth Watching (and Tipping!) - There are hundreds of Las Vegas street performers, both on the Strip and Fremont Street. Musicians, singers, comedians, magicians, acrobats, you name it. Some are entertaining, and some are talentless. Then there are a few who stand out and are worth...
Very Innovative Solution - My team has created a very innovative solution, but we're still looking for a problem to go with it....
We Wish... - Oh, wishing star, we wish for an end to racial strife and bigotry. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson....
  What's So Unusual About This Paragraph? - What's So Unusual About This Paragraph? How quickly can you find out what is unusual about this paragraph? It looks so ordinary that you would think that nothing was wrong with it at all, and in fact, nothing is. But it is unusual. Why? If you st...
When You Are in Deep Trouble... - When you are in deep trouble, say nothing, and try to look inconspicuous. Sometimes it's better to keep quiet....
Why Johnny Can't Read
Why Men Shouldn't Be Allowed to Take Telephone Messages - This is why men shouldn't be allowed to take telephone messages. 'Someone from the Gyna Colleges called. They said the Pabst beer is normal. I didn't even know you liked beer.'...
  Why Women Shouldn't Take Men Shopping - After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterd...
Wikileaks - Fortunately, if there's one person equipped to deal with this magnitude of betrayal, indiscretion, and embarrassment...
  Women are Angels - Women are angels and when someone breaks our wings...we simply continue to fly......
Women as Explained by Engineers
Worried About Baby - Roanoke Times, Monday, September 20, 2004, Mellisa Williamson, 35, a Bullitt Avenue resident, worries about the effect on her unborn child from the sound of jackhammers. ...
Ya' Ever Felt Like This? - Ya' Ever Felt Like This? I meditate, I do yoga, I chant...and I still want to smack someone!...
  You Might Be Getting Old If... - You Might Be Getting Old If... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go a long. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today. Getting lucky means you...
You Tell Mommy - 'Santa, my mommy laughs at me for believing in you,' says the little girl sitting on Santa's lap. Santa replies, 'You tell Mommy...'...
kiva - loans that change lives
Kiva - loans that change lives
New Pages
Wishing Well - Terence Trent D'Arby Cover MUSIC Wishing Well - Terence Trent D'Arby Cover - Jolan sings 'Wishing Well', a Terence Trent D'Arby cover song.... more (Updated Aug 11, 2017)

Chase Holfelder Cover of Elle King's 'Ex's and Oh's' MUSIC Chase Holfelder Cover of Elle King's 'Ex's and Oh's' - Chase Holfelder cover of Elle King's 'Ex's and Oh's'.... more (Updated Jun 30, 2017)

Pharaon MUSIC Pharaon - Pharaon performed live at l'Olympia by Chico and the Gypsies (2011).... more (Updated Apr 16, 2017)

Video Shows Passengers Fleeing from Las Vegas Strip Gunman CRIME Video Shows Passengers Fleeing from Las Vegas Strip Gunman - This exclusive dashcam-type video excerpt (no audio) shows passengers fleeing after a gunman on a Las Vegas Strip bus began shooting, hitting two men, killing one. Lying on the ground under the canopy on the right side of the screen is victim Gary Br... more (Updated Mar 28, 2017)

Sam Swinnerton Cover of Billy Joel's 'Vienna' MUSIC Sam Swinnerton Cover of Billy Joel's 'Vienna' - Billy Joel is not an easy artist to copy, but that didn't hold young Sam Swinnerton back. This kid nails it from the very first note. He's is a true natural musical talent with a great voice, albeit still developing. Sam writes: "This is one of my ... more (Updated Feb 15, 2017)

 

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