The Official Web Site of
Jonas Maxwell
Current Las Vegas Time:
Supporting the God-given freedom America's Founding Fathers fought and died for!
print this page email this page to a friend

The Hierarchy of Pilots

Categories: Humor

The Airline Transport Pilot leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a 747, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and gives policy to God.

The Multi-Engine Pilot leaps short buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a 707, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if it is calm, and talks to God.

The Instrument Pilot leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable wind conditions, is nearly as powerful as a Lear Jet, almost as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water of an indoor pool, and talks to God if special request is approved.

The Commercial Pilot barely clears a quonset hut, loses a tug-of-war with twin-engine aircraft, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well, and is occasionally addressed by God.

The Private Pilot makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by Piper Arrows, sometimes handles an airplane without inflicting self-injury, can dog-paddle, and talks to animals.

The Soloed Student Pilot runs into buildings, recognizes a Cessna 172 two out of three times, is issued a parachute, can stay afloat if properly instructed, and talks to water.

The Non-Soloed Student Pilot falls over door sills when trying to enter buildings, says "Look at the airplane," wets himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself.

The Certified Flight Instructor lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks planes out of the hangars, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them, and freezes water with a single glance.  The C.F.I. is God.

"If you can't say something nice, let's hear it!"   — Joan Rivers

You got something to say about The Hierarchy of Pilots?

NOTE: A message sent through this form will not be sent privately to Jonas.  It will be posted on this page for the entire world to see.  Any responses will also be posted on this page, and you will not receive personal responses.


NEXT: Painted Cats


kiva - loans that change lives
Kiva - loans that change lives
New Pages
Top Three Reasons to Ditch T-Mobile OPINION Top Three Reasons to Ditch T-Mobile - Top Three Reasons to Ditch T-Mobile: 1) T-Mobile spent $350 million to put their name on the Las Vegas Golden Knights NHL hockey arena. 2) T-Mobile merged with Sprint, the all-time worst mobile communications company. 3) The T-Mobile CEO Mike Sievert... more (Updated Jun 26, 2020)

Hot Fun In the Summertime MUSIC Hot Fun In the Summertime - Hot Fun in the Summertime was made popular in 1968 by Sly and the Family Stone (written and produced by Sly Stone). In 1992, it was covered by the Beach Boys on their "Summer of Paradise" album. I like both versions, and couldn't decide which I liked... more (Updated Jun 26, 2020)

Ten Truths of Race and Hate CRIME Ten Truths of Race and Hate - The discussion of race and hate, and the anger associated with those discussions, are often filled with vagueness and assumptions. What is race? What is racism? How does skin color relate to race and/or racism? What is hate? Is hate always bad? ... more (Updated Jun 25, 2020)


home     media     calendar     faqs     contact

© 2010-2013 Jonas Maxwell. All rights reserved.