Over the past few decades, it seems like more often than not, soloists - from police officers to professional singers - who attempt to sing our national anthem get more publicity for their failures than for their excellence.  The most blatant and memorable example, so far, is Rosanne Barr's dismal 1990 performance at a San Diego Padres baseball game.  The problem has become so bad, Time.com put together their own Top 10 Worst National-Anthem Renditions.  Time's compilation was published before Steven Tyler's ear-wrenching rendition at the January 22, 2011 AFC Championship game, so the competition is not yet over.

While the media comically entertains the rest of the world with these national disasters, no one has made it clear what needs to be done to stop it.  Part of the problem is that those responsible for booking these talents (or lack of) don't seem to have a clue what it takes to successfully pull off such a seemingly simple, yet focal performance.  As a result, they extend invitations to the unqualified.

The other half of the problem, of course, rests on the shoulders of the so-called singers.  The truth is most singers don't know how to sing.  There are college degrees for singing; it is a true art.  Many people refuse to recognize the fact that they can't sing.  That's what makes TV's American Idol such a huge success.  Carrying a tune does not qualify anyone as a singer any more than running across a Kentucky bluegrass pasture makes someone a Derby-winning race horse.  Even professionals Michael Bolton and Christina Aguilera, both with incredible potential, made the most basic and unforgivable of mistakes - they forgot the words.  No excuse.  If you do nothing else as a singer, you should, at the very least, know the lyrics of the song you agree, and often are paid, to lead the entire country in singing.  Amazingly, anthem amnesia seems to be one of the most common failures.

So here are my own top ten tips for singing The Star-Spangled Banner.  Following these tip won't guarantee you'll do well, but it will guarantee that whatever it is you do manage to screw up will be original.

Rule Zero - Choose Your Battles Carefully

Rule Zero is simple: If you're ever invited to sing the national anthem, run away as fast as you can.  Singing the national anthem will not enhance your career.  The invitation is not a compliment; it's either a ploy to use you as a jester to entertain the rabble and the royalty, or it's a decision made by some business administrator with absolutely no musical know-how whatsoever.  So resist the temptation to feel like you've just been nominated for a Grammy.  Instead, decline and let someone else get the boos.  If you follow this single rule, you cannot fail.  If, on the other hand, you're defiant and open to public ridicule, knock yourself out (but please read the following tips first).

The Tips

1. Write down the words.  No, I don't mean look them up on Google and print them.  I mean listen to the song, and write them down.  With a pen and paper.  If you can't write as fast as the performer is singing, rewind and play it again.  And again and again.  Write down every word, spelled correctly, with punctuation, and proper case.
   
   
2. When you've finished hand-writing the words, read them.  Every single word.  Put them together in a story - the story that prompted Francis Scott Key to write them to begin with.  Study the story so you know it, and know it well.  Study it so you feel it, and so that you will not forget the story.  This will help you remember the lyrics when that moment comes, as your standing in the spotlight singing to 50,000 screaming, drunk fans for the first time.
   
   
3. Practice the song with a pianist who can play it in any key.  (If you don't know what "key" means, go back and re-read "Rule Zero" above.)  Practice it in the key you think you will be most comfortable with, then drop the key several steps down.  The easiest way to pick the correct key is to take the third note of the song and sing that as the lowest pitch you can possibly sing well.  That is the best key to sing it in.  From that note, the song pitch goes up, and up, and up, and up.  By starting in this low key, you'll leave room for the finish.
   
   
4. Once you found the best key, make sure you will have an accompanist who can play it in that key.  If the host wants to provide recorded accompaniment where changing key is not an option, make other arrangements for accompaniment or walk away.  You are setting yourself up for disaster if you start in a key higher than you are capable of singing in, as most singers do.
   
   
5. If you are asked or instructed to sing a capella, resist.  (If you don't know what "a capella" means, go back and re-read "Rule Zero" above.)  If you think you can do it a capella, this is not the time to find out.  Practice is not the time to find out.  Unless you have successful experience singing the national anthem a capella in front of tens of thousands of Americans, it is a recipe for failure.
   
   
6. Don't drag.  In fact, pick up the pace.  Unless you're Whitney Houston (and you're not), no one really wants to hear this song as a fine art performance.  The Star-Spangled Banner is not a funeral dirge; it's about the nation's successful struggle to preserve her freedom and resist oppression.  While it is a tribute to those who fought and died for us, it should be upbeat, uplifting, and motivational.  Sing it at a rapid clip, at least 120 bpm.
   
   
7. Breathe, and don't breathe, in the right places.  Among the most annoying things about singers who are not formally trained are their poor breathing habits.  This problem has a negative conscious effect on formally trained musicians, but a negative subconscious effect on the rest of the audience.  When singers breathe in the wrong places, interrupting the flow of the phrase, most people can tell something is awry, but can't quite put their finger on it.  Trained singers cringe.  If you don't know where to breathe, you need to make friends with your friendly neighborhood choral director - the professional one.
   
   
8. When you come to the word "perilous", remember...it is pronounced per-ih-lus, not per-uh-lis.  (Virtually every singer makes this mistake.)
   
   
9. Don't overdo the finish.  If you did well throughout the song, the crowd will be cheering at that point, so much so that they won't care about hearing the last few words.  But if you try to make the ending bigger than it really is, remember that you will be recorded from all angles, and you may end up along with Steven Tyler on Time.com's revised list.  Despite Tyler's years of success with Aerosmith, that would not be an accomplishment.
   
   
10. Remember, above all else, that this song is not about you!  It is America's national anthem, not yours.  It is the one outstanding song that represents the spirit of our country's freedom.  To perform it well, your goal must be to transfer that spirit from the music and lyrics to the heart of every witness, and ultimately, to everyone who enjoys freedom in America.