The Official Web Site of
Jonas Maxwell
Current Las Vegas Time:
Supporting the God-given freedom America's Founding Fathers fought and died for!
Frequently Asked Questions
print this page email this page to a friend

Frequently Asked Questions

Categories: NEC

Q: Is the name Jonas from the Bible?

A: Yes.  Jonah, with an h, is the Greek form of the Hebrew name which is generally thought to mean "dove", and, like the dove, to represent peace.  The Book of Jonah tells the story of Jonah being swallowed by a "great fish" or whale.  When Jesus repeats the story, as described in Matthew, Luke, and John, the name referenced is the Aramaic Jonas.  (It's kinda cool to think that Jesus actually uttered my name!)

Q: Do you have the time?

A: Usually, but sometimes I just can't find the time.  Does anybody really know what time it is?  Does anybody really care?  If so, I can't imagine why.  We've all got time enough to cry.

Q: Are you nuts?!

A: I can honestly say that I've never been described by a medical professional as "nuts".

Q: Are you stupid?!

A: No, I'm not stupid either.  For whatever reason, I didn't make good grades in high school.  But I've taken several intelligence tests over the years, and the results are consistent.  I think of it this way: "Not quite Mensa, but far from densa."

Q: Do you know how fast you were driving?

A: Yes, I do.

Q: Do you know what the speed limit is?

A: Yes, I do.

Q: Do you know why I stopped you?

A: No, I have absolutely no idea since I was driving safely and legally.

Q: Do you have any spare change?

A: No, I plan on spending it all.  I also might need my spare change in case I have a flat change.

Q: When will you learn?!

A: That's a rhetorical question, right? I don't really need to answer that one, do I?

Q: You think you're funny, don't you?

A: No, I honestly learned a long time ago that it's very difficult to be funny, and I don't have the wit.  My problem seems to be that people tend to laugh when I'm most serious.

Q: Where were you on the night of [fill in the date]?

A: I was nowhere near there, wherever it was!

Q: How do you spell [fill in the blank]?

A: This is probably the most annoying question I'm regularly asked, I think because it seems to be asked mostly by executives.  How is it that people who are born and raised in America, attend American schools, read American books and magazines, watch American movies, work for American companies, and navigate their way around American cities and towns by reading American signs CANNOT spell just about any English-language word that pops into their head?!  And if they absolutely can't spell a word, how can they be willing to make such fools of themselves by asking other people who achieved lower levels of education than they did, out loud, in the presence of witnesses, how to spell a word, often a very simple and easy-to-spell word?  If I can't spell a word (which is rare), I'll quietly go to the Internet and find the correct spelling.  If I don't have access to the 'net, I'll use a real dictionary.  If that's not available, I'll use a different word.  If "vocabulary is the yardstick of intelligence", is it too much to expect that those who have such large vocabularies be able to spell the words they use?  How is it that so many Americans who have degrees, work in leadership positions, and receive praise for their achievements, can't seem to spell their own names?!  I just don't get this one!  (Can YOU find the misspelled word in this paragraph?)

User Comments:
Bo - Feb 14, 2014 08:53:54 — There are no misspelled words, right?
Jonas - Feb 14, 2014 04:39:17 — Dunno.  Did you find one?
Bo - Feb 15, 2014 10:23:33 — Yeah but I'm not telling ya!
Jonas - Mar 7, 2014 10:25:42 — Did I mention spelling, and how it's usually executives who can't spell their own name?  Obama couldn't spell "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" when referring to a famous Aretha Franklin hit.  I mean, she spelled the word out in the song - it was the "hook" - and still, this guy can't ge ...more
Bo - Mar 11, 2014 03:29:00 — May be his telapromptor went dead

"If you can't say something nice, let's hear it!"   — Joan Rivers

You got something to say about Frequently Asked Questions?

NOTE: A message sent through this form will not be sent privately to Jonas.  It will be posted on this page for the entire world to see.  Any responses will also be posted on this page, and you will not receive personal responses.  If you would like to send a private message to Jonas, send a message through the contact page.  He can ignore it much faster that way. (Just kidding!)


NEXT: Contact


kiva - loans that change lives
Kiva - loans that change lives
New Pages
ELP - An International Collaboration MUSIC ELP - An International Collaboration - I got out of music when I realized there are extraordinarily talented musicians in the world, and I wasn't one of them. Three of those musicians formed Emerson, Lake & Palmer in 1970. I didn't listen to them until the mid-70s. "Karn Evil 9" perform... more (Updated Nov 4, 2017)

Tina S Cover of Ludwig von Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, 3rd Movement MUSIC Tina S Cover of Ludwig von Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, 3rd Movement - If you don't know this piece, you'll think this is just another awesome, mind-blowing electric guitar solo. If you do know this piece, as Beethoven wrote it, you'll be blown away at the talent of this young girl (only 17 when this was published on Yo... more (Updated Aug 22, 2017)

Cover of the Week: Cowsills Hair MUSIC Cover of the Week: Cowsills Hair - Remember this song? I was a Cowsills fan as a boy, but I don't think I ever confessed it. Until now. There were two Cowsills songs that stand out: The Rain, The Park & Other Things and Hair, the Cowsills most successful hit. This 2007 live PBS telev... more (Updated Aug 18, 2017)

Wishing Well - Terence Trent D'Arby Cover MUSIC Wishing Well - Terence Trent D'Arby Cover - Jolan sings 'Wishing Well', a Terence Trent D'Arby cover song.... more (Updated Aug 11, 2017)

Chase Holfelder Cover of Elle King's 'Ex's and Oh's' MUSIC Chase Holfelder Cover of Elle King's 'Ex's and Oh's' - Chase Holfelder cover of Elle King's 'Ex's and Oh's'.... more (Updated Jun 30, 2017)


home     media     calendar     faqs     contact

© 2010-2013 Jonas Maxwell. All rights reserved.