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Men are like...

Categories: Humor

Men are like...

...laxatives.  They irritate the crap out of you.

...bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.

...weather.  Nothing can be done to change them.

...blenders.  You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

...chocolate bars.  Sweet, smooth, and the usually head right for your hips.

...commercials.  You can't believe a word they say.

...department stores.  Their clothes are always half-off.

...government bonds.  They take soooooo long to mature.

...mascara.  They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

...popcorn.  They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

...snowstorms.  You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.

...lava lamps.  Fun to look at, but not very bright.

...parking spots.  All the good ones are taken; the rest are handicapped.

...floor tiles.  If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.

...fairy tales.  They seem to make more sense whn you're young.

...coolers.  Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

...computers.  Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

...placemats.  They only show up when there's food on the table.

...bicycle helmets.  Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

...copiers.  You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

...bank accounts.  Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

...high heels.  They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

...curling irons.  They're always hot and they're always in your hair.

...miniskirts.  If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

...vacations.  They never seem to be long enough.

...coffee.  The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

...horoscopes.  They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

...wine.  Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. —Pope John XXIII

...steel.  When they lose their temper, they lose their worth. —Chuck Norris or Jet Li

...musical glasses.  To produce their finest tones, you must keep them wet. —Samuel Tayor Coleridge


"If you can't say something nice, let's hear it!"   — Joan Rivers

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